Post by Ashti Sandburst on Dec 22, 2017 8:40:33 GMT
Hello ^^. Well, is the Ice Kingdom a place you created ? We do allow made-up localisation but we do prefer them being on other nations than in the Celestia kingdom itself xp. creating new countries is allowed.
The site is Semi-canon, actually. So it means we do follow the tv show (it's background/universe/characters) but also give sme liberty to the players (having job that aren't shown in the show, or creating new lands, magics, bringing some concept etc...)
Now about your application, the forms needs some improvement but before we go to that, I have to say that yeah he past is too dark for the site xp. We avoid topic like death, murder, beating up, slavery etc...
For a couple of reasons : first it's not fitting the tone of the site and show (we do allow bloodless violence, like during fight scene), and secondly because it can easily go overboard and ruin the mood xp.
So yeah, I am afraid you will have to remove those dark part of yo your oc's past. However you can replace them by something more mature/less dark. some kind of self-censorship. Like, for the example :
he grown up a strict way, like a guard, beaten up by his own mom.
Can become
He grown up in a boot camp-like/military atmosphere, like a guard, subject to his mother's spartan/harsh training.
or "under the harsh training/education lead by his mother"
It keep the idea without the questionable connotation. ^^.
-------
Now for the review. Well, here's the things to improve
Form
-It would be better to bold the entries. Like this
Race: Pegasus
Gender: male
Age: Stallion
Like and dislikes should be explained instead of just listed ^^. Why our oc likes x, or dislike x. Same for the motivation (when you would have revamped it)
Most important, you shouldn't mix both backstory and over-all persona.
The Over-all persona (the description of your oc's personality) should be its own category and be at least 250 words. The backstory can be explained bellow.
For the backstory :
-remove darks elements. and maybe give a little description of the kingdom you are mentionning ^^.
I think that's all for now xp. I am here everyday, so I'll often check the site to see if you questions and stuffs.
The site is Semi-canon, actually. So it means we do follow the tv show (it's background/universe/characters) but also give sme liberty to the players (having job that aren't shown in the show, or creating new lands, magics, bringing some concept etc...)
Now about your application, the forms needs some improvement but before we go to that, I have to say that yeah he past is too dark for the site xp. We avoid topic like death, murder, beating up, slavery etc...
For a couple of reasons : first it's not fitting the tone of the site and show (we do allow bloodless violence, like during fight scene), and secondly because it can easily go overboard and ruin the mood xp.
So yeah, I am afraid you will have to remove those dark part of yo your oc's past. However you can replace them by something more mature/less dark. some kind of self-censorship. Like, for the example :
he grown up a strict way, like a guard, beaten up by his own mom.
Can become
He grown up in a boot camp-like/military atmosphere, like a guard, subject to his mother's spartan/harsh training.
or "under the harsh training/education lead by his mother"
It keep the idea without the questionable connotation. ^^.
-------
Now for the review. Well, here's the things to improve
Form
-It would be better to bold the entries. Like this
Race: Pegasus
Gender: male
Age: Stallion
Like and dislikes should be explained instead of just listed ^^. Why our oc likes x, or dislike x. Same for the motivation (when you would have revamped it)
Most important, you shouldn't mix both backstory and over-all persona.
The Over-all persona (the description of your oc's personality) should be its own category and be at least 250 words. The backstory can be explained bellow.
For the backstory :
-remove darks elements. and maybe give a little description of the kingdom you are mentionning ^^.
I think that's all for now xp. I am here everyday, so I'll often check the site to see if you questions and stuffs.