Post by ~Silly CC~ on Dec 30, 2013 2:46:21 GMT
Blueberry sighed, setting down her wooden crate and shaking the like beret off her head. She smiled as she breathed in the crisp winter air, happy to be out and about again. Ponyville wasn't her home, nor was any town, but she gravitated towards the cozy city quite often. Sure, most of the perils seemed to gravitate here too, but she didn't mind. The more there was talk of, the more she could joke about. She hopped atop her crate, making sure her beret was open and welcoming to ponies' bits, and cleared her throat to the bustling crowd of work-goers and shoppers, along with parents with their school fillies and foals. Hello, Ponyville! Missed me much? She grinned widely, expecting the same bustle as before. Oh, stop it, I didn't know ya missed me that much! She waved a hoof, also covering her fake blushing face.
The crowd seemed unperturbed, so she decided to break into the actual comedy. So, my doctor tells me I need more fruit in my diet; so of course, I buy some toaster pastries. She shrugged, acting as though this were an obvious solution. And as I open the box, I look on the side—just to humor myself—and I see the directions! Seriously, which pony needs directions on their toaster pastries? I can only think of one: "Toast the pastry." I mean, what more do you need? "Go ahead, toast 'em! Why are you still reading this? Toast the freaking pastries already!" Blueberry then threw the invisible pastry box at the ground in fake anger, then looking up at the ponies. A few had stopped, but not as many as usual. She felt nothing against that, it was early in both the day and in her act. She continued on as usual. And if that wasn't enough, there's two sets of directions! The first one is for the toaster. Of course, I mean, it's in the name. The comedian held up her hoof again in mock concentration, and read the invisible directions upon the fake pastry box. "Step one: remove pastry from pouch. Ohhh okay, okay. Step two: insert pastry vertically"—vertically? Now they're throwing all those directions in there?—"into toaster." I mean, who's gonna put the pastry in the other way? Really? Blueberry shook her head in mock disappointment, smiling softly.
She then glanced at her beret quickly, taking note of the few bits in it. It was more than her seed bits, but still... She shook her head a tad more quickly, looking up at the crowd again. A few more ponies—good, good—were standing, smirking and chuckling a few of them, and she went on with the final bit of this subject. But then, if you're really in a hurry, there's another set of directions: for the microwave! I mean, listen to these: "Step one: remove pastry from pouch"—still same, but wait—"Step two: set microwave to high for three sec"—three seconds! Really, who is in such a rush that they need to wake up, get ready, and eat in three seconds? I mean, it's like "ding! Oh gosh, *stuffs pastry unto mouth* gotta go!" Seriously, the things ponies come up with these days... She once again shook her head in mock disbelief, face-hoofing gently.
Her job was tough, making bits off the streets, but it was worth it. She loved seeing the smiles on ponies' faces; it was worth every painstakingly quiet—or hustle and bustle—hour she had to spend to make somewhat of a living.
The crowd seemed unperturbed, so she decided to break into the actual comedy. So, my doctor tells me I need more fruit in my diet; so of course, I buy some toaster pastries. She shrugged, acting as though this were an obvious solution. And as I open the box, I look on the side—just to humor myself—and I see the directions! Seriously, which pony needs directions on their toaster pastries? I can only think of one: "Toast the pastry." I mean, what more do you need? "Go ahead, toast 'em! Why are you still reading this? Toast the freaking pastries already!" Blueberry then threw the invisible pastry box at the ground in fake anger, then looking up at the ponies. A few had stopped, but not as many as usual. She felt nothing against that, it was early in both the day and in her act. She continued on as usual. And if that wasn't enough, there's two sets of directions! The first one is for the toaster. Of course, I mean, it's in the name. The comedian held up her hoof again in mock concentration, and read the invisible directions upon the fake pastry box. "Step one: remove pastry from pouch. Ohhh okay, okay. Step two: insert pastry vertically"—vertically? Now they're throwing all those directions in there?—"into toaster." I mean, who's gonna put the pastry in the other way? Really? Blueberry shook her head in mock disappointment, smiling softly.
She then glanced at her beret quickly, taking note of the few bits in it. It was more than her seed bits, but still... She shook her head a tad more quickly, looking up at the crowd again. A few more ponies—good, good—were standing, smirking and chuckling a few of them, and she went on with the final bit of this subject. But then, if you're really in a hurry, there's another set of directions: for the microwave! I mean, listen to these: "Step one: remove pastry from pouch"—still same, but wait—"Step two: set microwave to high for three sec"—three seconds! Really, who is in such a rush that they need to wake up, get ready, and eat in three seconds? I mean, it's like "ding! Oh gosh, *stuffs pastry unto mouth* gotta go!" Seriously, the things ponies come up with these days... She once again shook her head in mock disbelief, face-hoofing gently.
Her job was tough, making bits off the streets, but it was worth it. She loved seeing the smiles on ponies' faces; it was worth every painstakingly quiet—or hustle and bustle—hour she had to spend to make somewhat of a living.