Of Thieves and Guards (Oopsie Daisy) [Dead]

[Sarcatsic]

Attempting to steal the Elements of Harmony may not have been the best plan Topaz Jones ever had. How was he to know that the princesses didn't keep them in the castle? And since they weren't in the castle, he hadn't the slightest clue of where to find them, and now Topaz was getting rather desperate for some extra cash. He had been on the run for a while after his last (attempted) heist, and came back to Canterlot to see wanted posters with his face all over them.

WANTED

For Attempted Pilferage of The Elements of Harmony

Yellow Crystal Stallion

Name Topaz Jones

Cutie Mark Unknown

At least he had that much. They didn't know his cutie mark, which is good because he always kept it secret underneath a robe. They may have known that he was a Crystal Pony, but since more Crystal Ponies were venturing into Equestria away from the Empire, it was making things alot easier. There were plenty of yellow crystal stallions around, so they could easily be blamed for the crime.

Continuing on his way, and remembering why he even returned to Canterlot, he slipped into the castle undetected. He really didn't want any of the guards to see him, even if they were to believe he was just a random citizen entering the tower. Topaz kept light on his feet, trotting over carpeted areas if he could and stepping very lightly over the marble floors. His intentions were to steal and pawn off some Canterlot armor, so his goal was to find the chambers of the guards.

He was rather impressed with the digs he saw. Each guard got their own modest bedroom. They weren't too small at all, and provided just enough room to make a big guard comfortable. He expected Canterlot guards to not have as glamorous living quarters as the Crystal guards.

Why were all of these rooms full of... nothing? Well, of course there were possessions in each room to personalize it to the pony's liking, but there were no valuables at all! No shoes, no jeweled ensembles, and certainly no extra armor. Maybe all the armor was kept in a different room and not the ponies' bedroom?

Just when Topaz was about to turn around and try another hall, he spotted the most hilariously professional room in all the castle. The room wasn't decorated like the others, but there were three or four sets of armor placed on mannequins all against one wall.

"Ha, I'll bet this guy doesn't get out much." He laughed, looking around once more before entering the chamber. He could easily sneak out of here disguised as a guard, so naturally he tried putting the armor on. It was... a bit snug, but almost fit him. "I didn't know they hired little ponies into the guard," he squeaked, squeezing the helmet on over his head. The best part about this plan is the helmet deceitfully made his mane look pink and orange, and the armor covered his cutie mark. Well most of it, it still stuck out a bit.

The thief carried back on his way, confidently treading the floors expecting zero trouble.

[Oopsie Daisy]

Gallant Rose
You're standing too close to a flame that's burning hotter than the sun in the middle of July.
Sending out your army but you still can't win, listen up silly boy cuz I'm gonna tell you why

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Gallant Rose was busy in her office, filling out her daily reports to the princesses. There wasn't a great deal to report, though.. the inside of the castle was pretty safe, the city itself was rather safe... well, besides the wanted thief who was running amok. The same thief who had attempted to steal the precious Elements of Harmony: one of Equestria's most important means of defence. The sheer thought of someone so utterly disrespectful to the crown caused Gallant's blood to boil in bitter anger, but she pushed it aside knowing that he wouldn't be free for very long. Pretty much every guard was searching for him: there were Wanted posters everywhere. But she pushed that nagging thought aside to focus on her report, and what little she actually HAD to report.

The last thing on the list was an equipment check, which was never a problem as her own items were NEVER misplaced. Every guard had the responsibility of keeping their equipment in check: such as their helmet, armour and weapons. She rose from her seat and headed out of the room and closing the door behind her, the loud tap of her hooves echoing loudly throughout the otherwise silent hall. A bored but vigilant expression covered her face as she made her way straight to her sleeping quarters, knowing that nothing would be out of place as she always kept everything exactly where it was supposed to be.

When she came to the sleeping quarters, she froze dead in her tracks. Why was her door partly open? That was odd, she was sure to always keep it closed.. and there was supposed to be a guard keeping an eye on the area. Where on earth had he gotten to? Deciding it wasn't worth lingering on and that she'd punish him whenever she saw him, Gallant headed into the room and shut the door behind her. Of course she was sure there wasn't much point in this, but duty was duty, and she took it very seriously. She checked her weaponry and shields first, and was pleased that they were all exactly as she'd left them.. not that she ever needed to use them much. She turned to the back of the room, where her armour was kept on a line of arranged mannequins, and began counting them as she did so. Quite suddenly, she realised something wasn't quite right.. had she miscounted? No, the mere thought was preposterous. She counted again, and again, and then frantically searched the room.. but came to a terrible conclusion.

"Where the heck has my armour gone?!" she demanded to no one, feeling fury quickly rise up as her teeth clenched in anger. There was only one answer she could think of: it must've been stolen! Maybe the thief hadn't gone far.. so without a second though, the pegasus mare rushed from her room and out into the hall, cantering down the opposite way she'd come from after leaving her office. She was still in utter disbelief over the whole situation. Who DARED enter the room of a ROYAL GUARD, and make off with their belongings?! It was absurd.. she just could not believe it. It made her so angry, she burst into a gallop, hooves thundering against the hard floor. Just wait til she got a hold of that dastardly, despicable, disrespectful, filthy--

And at that thought, there he was. What appeared to be a yellow crystal pony was casually walking through the halls, sporting HER personal attire. This was made clear by the small size of it and him, and the plumage matching her hair colour. Gallant Rose all but roared as she furiously stormed up to the perpetrator, jumping as she reached him and knocking him to the floor. When she had him under her hoof she raised up, panting, glaring down at him with a face full of rage. "Nice try, but we don't have any Crystal ponies in the Canterlot Royal Guard.." she said, her voice as bitter as her expression. She then grabbed the helmet with her hooves and pulled it off the thief's head, struggling a little as it was quite a tight fit. When she pulled it off she gasped angrily, seeing the face revealed under the mask. It was the same face that had been plastered all over the city, that had caused an uproar within Canterlot and had caused the entire city to go on high alert..

"YOU! I should've known!" she said angrily, quickly looking around for some backup. Seeing none, she pulled him to his hooves, keeping a close eye on him. "You're coming with me, and you're going away for a long long time. But first, remove my armour at once!" She demanded, continuing to glare at him, allowing him a minute or two to return her belongings to her. After that she'd take him straight to the princesses, so that they may rest easy and know the thief had been stopped. It was only the highest order to serve them, and make sure the city was safe.

[Sarcatsic]

Whelp, the jig was up. Or was it? This mare seemed to be quite the emotional one. Perhaps he could catch her off her guard, fluff her up a little bit with some compliments and flirting. After the mare, who he'd figured out was the one he stole the armor from, forced him to his hooves, he dusted himself off with one hoof.

"You know, if you asked me to stop, I woulda. Didn't have to jump on me like that," He shot her a glistening smile, which seemed to have not amused her in the slightest. He looked away and cleared his throat, the smirk wavering a bit. "Ahem. Anyway. I will happily return this armor to you, ma'am. But ahhhhh, I'm afraid I'm pretty stuck in it, y'see." He attempts to get the armor off. It would appear that it was easier to apply the armor than to remove it. Topaz took the opportunity to wriggle around and get in all sorts of interesting positions, playing up the act that he couldn't get it off.

[Oopsie Daisy]

The male's nonchalance and casual tone REALLY irritated Gallant, who clenched her teeth angrily as he smiled at her. Almost shaking with rage, she tapped her hoof against the floor loudly and impatiently, ears and eyes lowering with utter disdain. Did he not realise the amount of trouble he was in? Didn't he realise how heavy the weight of his crimes - and soon his punishment were? "Just hurry up," she said, her voice matching the impatience of her facial expression and body language. His slowness and ignorance were almost unbearable, and the guard pony felt ready to all but crack at the annoyance she felt towards the slick pest before her. When he mentioned he was stuck in her armour, her jaw dropped and her yellow eyes widened in utter disbelief. He HAD to be kidding. Surely he didn't just put HER attire on after stealing it from HER room, walk back out wearing it as casually as can be.. and now he couldn't even get the darn thing off?!

Gallant Rose shook her head in brisk frustration, face-hoofing with a loud audible sigh, before slamming said hoof back against the floor and taking a step closer to the crystal pony with a glare. "I don't care how 'stuck' it is.." she sneered, not fully believing him. "If you can put it on, then you can take it off!" She said angrily, watching as he shuffled and wriggled about to make it look like he really was stuck. She didn't have the time or patience for this, and he was only irritating her more and more by the second. "Now hurry up!"