Post by hawkjohenson on Sept 29, 2011 12:42:12 GMT
I need to make this so I can scream about my personal issues at something without actually offending anyone... and hopefully get some decent closure and support from me friends.
For those who don't know, I live in my grandparents basement due to the fact that I cannot find a worthwhile job that will actually support me in my own apartment. I have looked everywhere, and my only course of action at this point is to hold on until next semester, when I can try and enroll with financial aid at the local college, which has a game design course. But until then, I have to pay around $30 bucks a month, 20 in rent and 10 for the podcast upkeep, as well as buying gas, foods, and all that essential stuff. As you might expect, someone without a job cannot do this easily, and the stress is really starting to affect me.
Not only that, but I started my podcast in hopes that I could lighten up people's days, and hopefully be given words of encouragement in return. But lately, we haven't been getting any, and it's really starting to depress me. It seems like we don't have any real fans out there who take a real interest in our show. And one of our guests remarked on his Tumblr that being on our show was "painful". This guest was the one who inspired me to start podcasting, and hearing him say that...
...it really hurt...
But all that aside, I've also had to deal with some annoying characters on the forums themselves. While the other mods and admins can bug me from time to time, they're easy to forgive. But when I have to deal with people who can't seem to grasp simple concepts, like TIME, then I start losing what little patience I have left. And a certain other member, and I refuse to say who due to a promise I made to them, isn't what they say they are. Do not ask me who, I will not tell you, nor will I give you little clues. But nonetheless, they are starting to strike me as being hypocritical, stating that they don't really care what others think of them, yet they put on a mask like that just to be treated differently. And as you've probably guessed, this pisses me off.
And beyond that, (yes, there's more) I have insomnia, and I'm naturally nocturnal. So when I start going to bed at 8:30 in the morning simply because I can't sleep until then, it really starts hurting my chances of actually getting a job. And even though I've tried resetting my sleep cycle, nothing seems to help...
So if any of you have noticed me acting differently... there's why.
For those who don't know, I live in my grandparents basement due to the fact that I cannot find a worthwhile job that will actually support me in my own apartment. I have looked everywhere, and my only course of action at this point is to hold on until next semester, when I can try and enroll with financial aid at the local college, which has a game design course. But until then, I have to pay around $30 bucks a month, 20 in rent and 10 for the podcast upkeep, as well as buying gas, foods, and all that essential stuff. As you might expect, someone without a job cannot do this easily, and the stress is really starting to affect me.
Not only that, but I started my podcast in hopes that I could lighten up people's days, and hopefully be given words of encouragement in return. But lately, we haven't been getting any, and it's really starting to depress me. It seems like we don't have any real fans out there who take a real interest in our show. And one of our guests remarked on his Tumblr that being on our show was "painful". This guest was the one who inspired me to start podcasting, and hearing him say that...
...it really hurt...
But all that aside, I've also had to deal with some annoying characters on the forums themselves. While the other mods and admins can bug me from time to time, they're easy to forgive. But when I have to deal with people who can't seem to grasp simple concepts, like TIME, then I start losing what little patience I have left. And a certain other member, and I refuse to say who due to a promise I made to them, isn't what they say they are. Do not ask me who, I will not tell you, nor will I give you little clues. But nonetheless, they are starting to strike me as being hypocritical, stating that they don't really care what others think of them, yet they put on a mask like that just to be treated differently. And as you've probably guessed, this pisses me off.
And beyond that, (yes, there's more) I have insomnia, and I'm naturally nocturnal. So when I start going to bed at 8:30 in the morning simply because I can't sleep until then, it really starts hurting my chances of actually getting a job. And even though I've tried resetting my sleep cycle, nothing seems to help...
So if any of you have noticed me acting differently... there's why.
i was kinda excited to feel like im back in 2015