Thunderheart

[Thunderheart]

Name: Thunderheart

Nickname/Alias(es): Thunda

Race: Earth pony

Gender: Male or boy…

Age: Foal, child, kid, or youngun…your pick!

-Physical Stuff-

Pelt Color: Dark Prussian blue

Mane/Tail Color and Style: Light blue spiked mane with a well groomed tail

Eye Color: Royal Blue

Cutie Mark: doesn’t have one yet

Other Scars/Markings: N/A

Physique: Average for a foal his size. Even though some say he is rather short for his age as well.

-Social Stuff-

Current Residence: Ponyville

Job: Student

Mother: Starglider

Father: Springtail

Sibling(s): only child

Other Family: none

Closest Friends: recently moved, yet to make friends

Courting/Courted By: N/A

Mate: N/A

Foal(s): N/A

-Personality Stuff-

Likes: Rivers, lakes, apples, mountains, and hugs.

Dislikes: Snakes and spiders. He also doesn’t appreciate those that are rude to others very much.

Motivation: To help ponies out whenever and however he can even though his is little. Even though it seems strange, his parents, being the guard ponies taught him from a younger age how to survive, abit if he does it awkwardly at times.

Strengths: Big, caring, understanding, heart. (What he can understand >.>)

Weaknesses/Flaws: Thinks before he speaks sometimes and has a tendency to let his mind wonder abit.

Fears: Terrified of being left alone. Also of needles…not hay needles…he likes those but needles as in shots ><.

Overall Persona: He was born in fillydelphia to a Pegasus mother and a earth father, regardless he was raised in a happy home, plenty of friends to prances around with and play. One day around his eight birthday his parents decided to move to the growing but still smaller town of ponyville. He was excited about the move cause he liked to be in a place were he could run around more. As they made there way out of filly it took them a few days to reach the Everfree forest which they would have to cross on there route to ponyville. As they were casually strolling thru the forest they, unfortunately happened across a ursa major. As his parents distracted it they told little thunder to run and never stop till he reached ponyville. Being the obedient foal he was he darted off immediately down the trail. Hours later with his parents not in sight he made it to ponyville safe and sound. Luck for him his parents already came and had a house waiting for them so he managed to make his way there and everyday he geos to the edge of the ever free forest to see if his parents will come….

Even though he speaks before he thinks sometimes he only has good intentions at heart. HE cares for everypony and creature around him as he is terrified of being alone and always wants to have a friend around to sit with. He loves anything apples, absolutely adores apples! Mention anyway for him to obtain a few and he will work for them! Whenever he has free time in-between school and his long search he likes to sit out by the pond or river and just watch as the water goes by, always fascinated by how water worked and what it would be like if he could just trot about atop it or even sleep on it. He also has a love of mountains, his mother always taking him to them when he was a new born and a little bit older. He loved to start down at the rivers and lakes as they looked like puddles to him from up there even though his mother keep telling him not to get too close to the edge’s. And finally, due to his fear of being left alone, he loves to hug. He really doesn’t care who as long as they enjoy the hug so does he! Hugs to lil bunny rabbits to hugging the store owner for a kind and generous gift or simply cause it’s a friend that he hasn’t seen in a few minutes he will find any excuse to give someone a hug because it simply lets him know that he is not alone.

[Antiquated Lace]

Typically I like to have really detailed OC apps, myself-- (it says WIP so I'm offering overall advice, sorry, haha. Brain's going in circles right now.) So, it seems he's a really well-behaved kid, basically? With the typical kiddo strengths and weaknesses. Cute!

[Thunderheart]

Any advice?

[The Architect]

To start off, wordiness. You need to be more descriptive of things, like "Light blue, spiked-back mane, and straight, mid-length tail" (based on the provided picture). On that note, watch out for being too wordy, say what needs to be said and leave it at that.

Secondly, aesthetics. This is preference, really, but I like to keep the sections grouped, like:

[b]-General Stuff-[/b]

[b]Name:[/b] Judas
[b]Nickname/Alias(es):[/b] N/A
[b]Race:[/b] Pegasus pony
[b]Gender:[/b] Male
[b]Age:[/b] Colt



And so on. It makes it easier on the eyes, especially if you separate the items and your criteria.

Next, I suggest rethinking your motivation. He is young, I understand, but there's still got to be something that drives him forward, i.e. running with my parents-chased-by-bear idea, his motivation is finding his mom and dad. Something along those lines, what he LIVES for.

Lastly, take some time on the summary. Come up with a backstory for lil' Thunda, flesh him out and make him a multidimensional, enjoyable character. Put yourself in his hooves, and write about what you'd feel. (those make the best characters. ^^) It doesn't have to be long or fancy, and don't limit yourself to a minimum or maximum. Just tell us where he's coming from, what he's been through and a bit on where he's going.

*whew* Okay, there's my two (three, four, five, six...) bits. Keep up the good work!

[Antiquated Lace]

Approved! He would get along with Meredydd, methinks. Just hangin' out at the water.... maybe one day he accidentally falls in and she saves him? Hm!

[Thunderheart]

THank you!! that does sound intresting indeed. Where would i set something like that up?

[Antiquated Lace]

The way I run Meredydd is you can call her into any RP by PMing me, given that you are near water, and she'll appear! So go forth and enter any RP you see, or make your own if you can't find any you like, and if you want her to appear (assuming I haven't already entered your RP), you can simply signal S-O-S!

[Moogie]